5 things I'd rather talk about than the election

My poor little Facebook feed is taking a real beating these days. I've got friends spanning the political landscape and they don't hesitate to hurl video damnations, bullet list warnings, and absolute truths all over my social media. Since all this yelling and carrying on isn't helping anyone, I've come up with five other topics for conversation. Feel free to add your own in the comments. Here are mine.

1.The role of earthworms in sustainability.

In truth, you’d have to lead this discussion because I don’t know that much about earthworms except that apparently they are busy little critters that make our soil more . . . I don’t know . . . soilish. Who knew?

2.Janet Jackson and her bad self.

Rhythm Nation came out in 1989. That’s 27 years ago which is impossible because I thought it was just last week. That album, her fourth (her first two were duds, her third, Control was awesome), has some of my favorite songs ever. “The Knowledge;” remember that one? Had excerpts from the lyrics up in my first office. Anyway, she’s been on television and in films; she’s produced phenomenal music videos; and she dances like a boss. She’s also flopped plenty of times. She’s had roles that were mediocre, songs that were bland, and projects that never got off the ground (like her first marriage that was annulled after just a year). But she keeps starting over again and again. And now? Now Janet Jackson (who is HELLO? 50!) is expecting her first child with her current husband who is a decade younger than she. “[That’s] Janet – Miss Jackson if you're nasty.” (Control, “Nasty,” 1986)

3.Male seahorses.

So when a boy seahorse and a girl seahorse really like each other, the girl seahorse deposits her eggs in the boy’s pouch. (You can’t make this stuff up.) Admit it: you’d much rather talk about this than the election wouldn’t you?

4.The Bronte’ sisters and what a shame it is they didn’t live long enough to write more books.

If you haven’t read Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre, just stop right now and go get yourself a copy. Or even better, open another browser window, pull up Amazon Prime and order it. It’s the absolute best. Wuthering Heights by sister Emily is also delicious and little Anne also produced a classic in Agnes Grey. The Bronte’ women. To write like they did . . . (sigh) . . .

5.My trip to Greenland

Yep Greenland. Bet you don’t know anyone else who has been to Greenland do you? I went to visit my friend Lene who had been an exchange student to the US in 1978. I was only 16 when I boarded that plane for the Great White North and I spent a night in a Montreal hotel on the way out and on the way back.

Hold on. Maybe we should also chat about the neglectful parenting Gloria and Harold Mitchell displayed back in 1982. What in the world were they thinking? They let a 16-year-old travel to Greenland! Greenland! It’s a glacier with people around the edges. (Clearly they were trying to get rid of me.) Mother says that they told me I had to earn the money if I wanted to go; the ticket was so expensive they figured that would be the end of it. Then when I saved up the money, they felt they had to (air quotes) “Keep their promise to me.” Okay, but dadgum. That’s crazy.

Not as crazy as the 2016 election. But still.


About the Author Aileen Lawrimore

Aileen Mitchell Lawrimore is a mother x 3, wife x 28 (years not men), minister, speaker, writer, retreat leader, and lover of beagles and books. She has a lot to say.

Leave a Comment:

Matthew Best says October 26, 2016

I love your list. And I'm jealous that you are going to Greenland. That's awesome. I love the idea of the five things you'd rather talk about instead of the election. Here's my list:
1. why is that when you are in a hurry, you are guaranteed to end up driving behind someone who is driving slow - like 10 mph below the speed limit the entire way to your destination 25 miles away?
2. why do guinea pigs run away from their humans in terror, even though those human feed and offer love, yet the guinea pigs come over without fear and sniff at a dog who could take a bite out of them in an instant.
3. Why, oh why, does everything literally fall apart in our bodies when we turn 40? Is there some kind of expiration date or something that we don't know about?
4. Why do people not accept "I don't know" as an answer. Instead they would rather have you make up an answer.
5. Just about anything else, including going to the dentist or having surgery - at least with those, you know the pain will go away relatively soon.

    Aileen Lawrimore says October 26, 2016

    Great list Matthew! I actually WENT to Greenland back in 1982. It is a breathtakingly beautiful place! And yeah--what's the deal with guinea pigs?

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